Learning From Your Mistakes

I’ve been cosplaying for over ten years.  During this time, I’ve made stupid mistakes.  Mostly of me speaking before I think.  Granted most of us are guilty of that, but me more so than others.  I am thankful that I’ve learned from that.  I’m going to share with you all a couple of short stories of where my mouth has gotten me into trouble and how I learned from it.
A few years ago I was a cosplay judge at Anime Boston. After watching all of the skits and we went into the back to figure things out, I spoke out of turn about a Silent Hill skit. Honestly, I didn’t know and I didn’t realize what I had done.  One of my friends who was a judge told me the mistake I made and I apologized profusely about it. I didn’t realize that after that, word gotten out to those people in that skit what I said. I had thought that what was said in closed doors, stayed there.  I thought wrong.
Monday night, said former friend called me up screaming about what I said.  And I was hurt over that.  I didn’t think or realize that cosplays/cosplaying held a higher weight than a friendship.  I tried to apologize and explain, but she didn’t want to hear it.  That was the last of it. I shed a tear and moved on.  Come to find out later that said person was still pissed.  It seems that a certain photo of her was leaked and someone was talking smack about her and the skits on various forums.  Was it me?  Nope.  I thought about trying to defend myself, but from what I saw, noone would believe me.  I said fuck it, and moved on.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about trying to fix that friendship.  But I don’t have the willpower to do so, because I fear that trying to will just blow up in my face.  I do hope that this person knows that I’d like to fix that and let it be.

Let’s skip ahead to a few years later, Anime NEXT.  This one girl I was crushing on big time, stayed with me for the con.  She too had a thing for me, but whenever I tried to pursue, she pull up her defenses and start playing mind games.  Eventually I said fuck that and moved on.  She would stay at my house before and after the con.  Also because she would meet up with local photographers and needed crash space.  After the con, my best friend drove us home and we hung out on the Coney Island boardwalk.  Then after that, I really didn’t hear too much from her.  I didn’t think twice about that because I got swamped with work and other projects.

A few months later I dropped her a line to see what’s up and she was quite rude to me. I demanded to know what her problem was.  She was mad at me because I told people that we slept together and that she was with me.  Immediately I told her that was an outright lie.  That con weekend, I never told anyone such a thing, but she didn’t believe me.  I also found out that $700 was missing from the house too.  That would also explain why she stopped talking to me, and also why she stopped coming up to conventions in the NY / NJ / DC / MD areas, specifically the ones I goto.  I called her out for that and no response.
Skip to today where my new roommate is friends with her.  I told him everything what happened and he was like “Damn”.  I sent her a friend request, thinking that she had let it be.  No reply.  I got angry, so wanted to call her out for her antics, but I said fuck it.  But I was hurt.  Hurt that she came up with this lie to cover up for the fact that she stole from my roommate.  I tried to put her on blast once, but that blew up in my face.  How I feel now? I just want her to admit she lied and she stole the money then all is forgiven.
Hopefully from reading these stories, you guys and gals understand why it’s always a good thing to think before you speak and watch what you say….
GOODNIGHT!

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