Who I Am, How I Am

First and foremost, at times I cannot be the easiest person to deal with.

It is no fault of others, it is my own.

The issue lies in the fact that I couldn’t find a median in my personality.  Some people will tell you that I am brash, arrogant, pushy, forward, and at times outright stalkerish.  Yeah, that’s right I said that.  Other people will tell you that I am cool, fun loving, quiet, reserved, and shy.

Shocking, isn’t it.

But in the long run, I am both sides of that.  My personality goes both ways.  I try to control the extreme side of my personality so that I don’t offend anyone.

Some people say that I shouldn’t care what others think of me.  But I do.  I hate having to goto cons and not saying hi to someone I know because I said something the wrong way and offending them.

The second most important thing to me besides family is friends.  I love my friends, I cherish them.  When I goto cons and meet people I love that.  If within a few minutes of talking to that person, I will sense their vibes.  If there good, I will add them to my private Facebook account.  I always worry because I have a mouth on me and I will offend and not know it until it’s too late.

I’ve also had problems of fitting in within the various circles I associate with.  It’s because of the different subjects that are discussed and I don’t have a clue as to what’s going on.  So I just wait until something piques my interests and then I add my two cents.

At first all of this got to me… Then I got used to it.  I take with each experience what I learned and focus it for the better.

So if I run into you at a con and I seem to be nervous/flirty, I’m just trying to find my middle.

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