So Me and My Ex…

Only a few people know the story of the breakup between me and my ex-girlfriend Mimi.  Oddly enough, after the breakup, the story went on for months.  It was mostly me.  I was the one trying to stay friends and find out the truth about things.  But honestly I should have know when she got more tight-lipped and I had to drag the truth out of her.  For the longest, I decided to keep this under wraps due to privacy between us and everyone else involved.  But if seems that some people like to tell my business and that end results of this took a serious emotional strain on me to where I couldn’t take it anymore.   So I guess now that I’ve let all of this sink in, I can tell my side of things.

Background:

Here’s some stuff ya need to know.  We dated years ago for about 6 months.  We broke up when I discovered that she was still with her ex and another guy.  I said fuck it and moved on.  But it did leave some questions unanswered and some resentment.  We met years later at Otakon.  She spotted me and we talked.  She apologized for how things ended in the relationship.  We kept in touch.  She’d mostly talk about how her now ex-husband was useless and me trying to get her to leave him for me, but that didn’t work.  After an argument a couple of years later, I stopped talking to her.  When I discovered that my sister ran away and was heading towards Ohio, I  called her up, explaining everything and it was like nothing ever happened.  Now I knew how I felt about her, but when were all going to to Steampunk World’s Fair in 2011, I figured I’d tell her how I felt, keep things as friends and move on.  But a few months before that she confessed that she wished she had made things work and if I wanted to be with her for one night.  That became a relation/18 month affair that crashed and burned… HARD.

Now what happened:

In April of last year, we’re talking and she tells me that she’s unhappy and wants to break up.  She explains that the things that’s happened between us caused a rift and she doesn’t feel the same.  She never tells me this, but she goes and runs to two (now one) of my best friends and tells her the problems.  I ask her to let’s try to make it a year.  During this, I act more responsible than ever and that freaks her out.  Over the summer, I get an invite to a friend’s wedding and I see that as a bad omen.  So we talk and decide to take a break.  During this, she gets her divorce and settles into a place of her own.  Me, I focus on work and this aspect of my life comes through.  We also decide to goto my friend’s wedding, planned everything out.  Nope, didn’t happen.

So during this summer, her lady friends introduce her to a guy and on a blind date , he shows up with Resident Evil 6.  Weeks later, she makes this tweet that is sexual in nature and I’m like WTF.  Evidently, she tells me that she likes him and wants to pursue. My stupid ass says nothing, thinking that love is stronger than a like/crush.  When I’m done with my job in December, I asked her if I can move out there.  She’s having some financial issues.  I told her that my unemployment can pay her bills, she can work more hours while I take care of the kids. She said she’d get back to me.  Two weeks later I tell her that I need an answer because I am going back to school.  And y’all know that I went back and got my degree.

And then the ball drops.  A week before Valentine’s Day, she dumps me.  But this is how it all went down.  I call her one night, she said she’s said something bothering her, so I ask her to tell me.  It was like pulling teeth.  So, due to the conversations we had in the past, I knew where this was going.
“Do you want to break up with me?”
“Yes.”

Done.  So the next couple of weeks are us fighting and arguing over shit.  That ends up turning into civil talk.  She tells me that she is going to ACen (Anime Central) with a former friend of mine, Will.  I’m pissed.  She made plans to go, her ex-inlaws are watching the kids and everything.  But she couldn’t do this for the wedding.  Now, I’m a little annoyed because it’s a known fact that Will is hopelessly in love with my ex.  He took it to heart when he saw her wearing the promise ring at Steampunk World’s Fair that I gave her.  So I let it be.  That weekend I was at the bar for a joint birthday party.  I made a post about how we should be celebrating two years, but we’re not and she was offended.  I told her that since no names were mention that she should just shut up and go have fun.

After that weekend we talk.  She tells me that the guy she’s been dating that they’re official. In my mind, boyfriend/girlfriend.  Alright, cool.  A month later, I find out from a former friend that they’re engaged and that Will helped to arrange this.  And this is where I get pissed.  My ex is protecting him, telling me that I need to calm down or else I’ll lose this friendship instead of saying that he’s not involved.  It’s no secret that I’m pointing fingers at me, and yet he’s not man enough to say I’m not involved in this.  So for the next three weeks my and my ex are trying to hash things out.  All I want is the truth and it can be water under bridge.  Instead, she’s too busy blaming me for things.  I said fuck it, hung up the phone, blocked her number.

I proceeded to write this letter telling her exactly how I felt.  It took me a few weeks to complete it because of how much emotions went into it.  Sad part is that if I were to call her, she’s forget about all of this and be all lovey-dovey.  Hell, she could me wanting to rekindle our fire and I would take her back.  Again, thank god for number blocking.

The fallout from this was that I lost a few good friends.  It hurt, but what can you do?  My thing is now that I might see her at Katsucon or Animazement, it’s one of the conventions she tends to frequent.

It’s taken me months to put things back into place, but that’s also a story for another time.

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