To Understand Does Not Mean You Concede

Discussions, conversations, arguments, debates will mostly have two sides to it.  It’s not often that one side will agree with the other.  We all have our reasons for believing and/or standing behind a statement.  At one time, I would stand behind my point and not give up until that person would concede, because I would verbally berate my view is the correct one.  In my field of work, you really can’t do that.  You have to see what you’re looking at, be reasonable, understand the points and then decide if you agree or not.  Key word being understand.  I think that’s something a lot of people forgotten about.

Usually when one of hears the word “understand”, said person would go into a mindset and automatically think that the discussion is over and the other person conceded and believes you.  Like I said, I used to think that.  But not anymore though.  When discussing any topic on hand, I want to make sure that the other person understands what I am talking about.  I don’t care if they agree with my point of view, just understand my reasoning.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had two “arguments” that have stuck out in my head.  I put arguments in quotes because in both instances, neither one of us were verbally attacking each other.  But I do felt that in both instances that I was completely in the wrong, my reasons didn’t mean shit, and defending myself was pointless.

But in both cases one thing was true, I was in the wrong, and I fully admit that.  But I felt that despite the reasons, both parties didn’t understand my reasonings.  I think it’s because of they understood where I was coming from, they would think that they would have conceded, and I would have won.

Not the case at all.

I understood their points and what they were getting at, and I said that.  But it just didn’t seem like my point was getting across.  I knew if I tried to get the other side to understand, it might have gotten far worse.  For now, I just threw in the towel and let it be.  Some things are not worth the time, money, and energy, as in the end results.

So if you understand what the other person is saying, tell them.  But also tell them that you don’t agree.  Just because you understand their point of view, that does not mean that you agree.  you both have reached an equal point.

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